just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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