After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
