its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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