So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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