were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
