Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
