i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Randomize
