he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
