So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
