I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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