I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
