i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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