He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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