If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
