Just fell off a train. Bad.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
