dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
