I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
