she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
