I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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