No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
