Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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