before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
