Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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