I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
