Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
