She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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