oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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