You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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