Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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