Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
The Olympian is in my bed
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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