When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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