Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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