I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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