im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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