One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
