i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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