I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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