white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
