I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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