Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Randomize
