garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
