I just pynch a tree in the face
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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