you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
