Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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