am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
