I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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