I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
pop tarts are not kleenex
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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