Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
