Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
