You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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