Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i think i have herpe
just one?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
