You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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